Going out of town as a parent is exciting and overwhelming. The days of breezing through the airport with just a carry on are over. Now you need what feels like a million pounds of gear in order to parent away from home. Determining what gear to bring and what to leave is way more complex than you ever imagined. This process becomes even more fraught when it falls to one person.

Often the mental load of packing is carried by a singular brain. To reduce the weight, I created an easy-to-use, extensive packing list (it’s five years in the making for me)!  Keep in mind I created the list as if two adults are packing for a trip, however it can accomodate a one-adult trip as well.

First, review the provided list and cross off any items you don’t need. 

The first page includes essentials such as bathroom toiletries, medicines, and various miscellaneous necessities. I left space to add your own items to medicines and miscellaneous as each family has unique needs. The items in the miscellaneous section are listed with the whole family in mind. Talk with your partner about who is going to take charge of which items to ensure they’re packed. Perhaps one adult packs the toiletries while the other packs the miscellaneous items.

The second page is a packing list for a baby under one. Review it with your partner and  put the  initials of the person in charge of packing each item. This method clarifies expectations and helps you both prepare. As part of these conversations, I encourage partners to discuss packing details and deadlines. For example, should everything be packed and in the car the night before or can they be shoved into suitcases as the Uber pulls up? There’s no universal “right or wrong” here, it’s just talking about communicating ahead of time so that in the moment you know what to expect of each other.

The last page is a list for elementary and preschool age children. I encourage you to use this worksheet with your children as their development allows. Talk with them about how many items they think they need, and then have them start to pack independently. This is a great gentle transition of getting everyone involved in meeting the family’s needs. Once you and your partner learn the skills necessary to negotiate your roles, then you can supportively and respectfully teach these skills to your children.

Packing is just one example of how partners can negotiate their roles in a relationship. The Gottman Method’s conflict blueprint  teaches couples how to effectively communicate about role designation in order to reach a temporary compromise. Temporary compromise is the key here as roles can and will change over time with different life events, situations, physical health, or family stages. As your life changes, you’ll need to renegotiate the roles that each of you play so you continue to  feel supported and fulfilled in the partnership. At Mindful Solutions Therapy, we have helped numerous partners negotiate role designation in a supportive and productive environment. We want to use our skills to help you foster more satisfaction in your relationship and entire household.

We hope that this worksheet helps your next trip a little smoother. Safe travels!